Photo by Katika Bele on Unsplash
“There was a time when pigs would have had to fly for you to get in front of a crowd with a microphone.”
These were some of the words in a congratulations card from my best friend of thirty years after a recent event. She was right. And how does one go from painfully shy and terrified to getting high off public speaking? I’ll give you some important steps.
Here are a few things to remember right off the bat:
It’s not about you. As soon as you step into your mission, calling and vision in the service of your desires, dreams and those you’ll serve, the big monster called fear is going to look a little different, smaller and more interesting. Think about what you’re doing for those you were born to serve, not about how you look, how you sound, or what “they” will say or think.
Fear is a feeling you can move with. Fear is just a physical feeling inside your body that you’re connecting with a time it had to do with survival. Get to know the difference between that survival kind of fear and the fear getting in the way of your badass self. Use the later as a compass and let it help you move; literally practice taking action with the feeling!
Don’t believe what you think. Your mind will talk you out of everything good and scary. It will keep you in your comfort zone, keep you safe, and keep you from really going for your dreams. Get to know the old, conditioned tapes. You know the ones telling you you aren’t good enough, or someone’s doing it better than you? Stop listening. Breathe. Connect with your intuition. Do what it takes to flip the switch to a better, more helpful, aligned thought!
Okay, so that’s the Awareness 101 class you need before taking these next big, badass steps. Inside of the action you’ll take every day is the fear-busting and magic.
There was a point when I went full-on, boobs-to-the-wall and decided if there was ever a time to be out loud it was now. What happened? I don’t know, a lot I guess. A divorce happened in there, a gut check, and the knowing I had about my purpose. This knowing and calling was burning in me. I finally got to the point of feeling it, and giving myself permission to feel it fully, to the point of taking action and going for it.
Up until then I’d stayed resigned to the life I was living; boxed in with rules, shoulds, supposed-tos, duties, and obligations…to everyone else but myself and my life. I learned what happy was supposed to look like and checked off all the boxes. I was good at lists and achievement. I was not good at hearing the sound of my own soul.
So when following the next three steps to help you heal the world with your message, remember, your feels is how you do this — not your thinking. You’ll always hear (by your inner critic, your parents, your friends, or the world) all the reasons why what you want to do won’t work. The one thing you need to listen to? Your intuition. How do you listen? You feel her, in your body, as a “Hell Yes,” or a “Hell No.”
Will this seem confusing and scary sometimes? Um…yes. All the times.
Will it be worth the effort, persistence, and BS&T (blood, sweat and tears)?
Yep, all of it.
Because when you begin to step into the worth you were born with, feel the calling deep in your soul, speak it out loud and see that your love is helping others…there’ll be no better feeling ever. (Except maybe the birth of your children or really, really, really great sex).
And…why can’t you have all of that?
Master these three fear-busting steps and start healing yourself and the world with your message!
1. Start and master an awareness practice. If you don’t have one (a meditation or other kind of awareness/mindfulness or stillness practice) you must start. Today if possible. Even if it’s five minutes worth. The only way you’ll make better thoughts, beliefs and actions happen is with more awareness of your body, mind and soul. You’ll be mastering a connection and dialogue with your intuition in the process. When you learn that language and trust it, you’ll feel unstoppable.
2. Align with your vision every day. Know your big why, write it down, set your goals and think, feel, believe, speak and act toward it every single day a little bit. There are many ways to do this. I highly suggest a regular, intuitive journaling/writing process, a positive thinking and affirmation practice, engaging in a community of people who support you, and getting the coaching or assistance you need to do what you want to do. Nothing big gets done alone. The smart ones are grabbing hands. The successful ones rest, but they never quit.
3. Feel the fear and do it anyway. You’ll need to get good at feeling that feeling in the middle of your chest and speaking anyway. You’ll have to get good at hearing the voices in your head and knowing when they are not helpful. You’ll need to get really good at your take offs off the cliff. You’ll need to practice making moves that shove you fully out of your safe little comfort zone. You’ll have to practice your fear-busting action every day to get better at it to the point it isn’t feeling like a paralyzing force anymore. And the practice will pay off.
Someone’s waiting for your message, exactly the way only you can speak it. Chances are, many people are waiting for you to bust through your fear and share the words you were born to share. Make this the sign you needed to do it this time. And if you need a little help, grab a hand. If there something that keeps you stuck or paralyzed, share it here — let me help you bust through right now!
Laura Di Franco, MPT is the owner of Brave Healer Productions and a powerhouse who writes to Feng Shui her soul. She’s the author of Brave Healing, a Guide for Your Journey, her sixth book to help inspire your fiercely alive whole self. Join her and write words that build your business and heal the world. The Write Habit online writing club is now open at www.BraveHealer.com
