Some years ago after working my way up to manager at a large chain of physical therapy clinics and basically giving them my heart, soul and every free spare moment of my time, they demoted me after I stood up for one of my awesome employees.
I had just returned from maternity leave to resume my full-time position. Upper management translation: I undermined my boss by not being on her side when it came to this particular situation. After feeling like I had been punched in the gut, I cried to my husband on the phone on the way home after having “the talk” at work, and basically took on the assumption I was not only unprofessional, but there must be something seriously wrong with me to have incurred this punishment.
What remained of my self-worth after a challenging childhood, was completely shot that day. I was a disaster. Demote me? You might as well have speared me through the heart. My demotion from the manager position included being sent to work as a staff therapist in two separate locations (my time was split during the week) each at least thirty minutes further from my home than my original location. At one location I worked for a manager who regularly swore at his staff when he was disappointed with them.
I spent my days staring at the clock and trying to figure out how many minutes before 5:00 p.m. I could leave and not be dinged for. In-between my now-longer commute and trying to be a new mom, I cried. I hated myself. I spent hours and weeks analyzing what went wrong, how I was to blame and what I could have done differently. I looked at what happened as one of the worst things in my life…until it became one of the best things that ever happened to me.
One evening after venting for the millionth time, through tears, to my husband, he said, why don’t you call these guys. The “guys” he was referring to were the owners of a company that helped therapists to open up their own businesses. He handed me the post card that had come in the mail that day and encouraged me to call. What could I lose?
Turns out all I had to lose was the incessant self-sabotage, a cruel boss, and all the pain and struggle I had been going through. It was time to make a move. It was time to be brave and open up my own clinic. With the encouragement of my husband, and the experience of this new company, I would end up co-owning three different outpatient physical therapy clinics over a span of seven years. But better than that, I would be on a path of freedom, entrepreneurship, and healing I never thought possible.
When I chose to look at the possibilities, my entire life changed. When I finally saw that the terrible event that occurred was the sole reason I was about to have some of the best, successful years of my life as a therapist, I understood that no event should be judged as good or bad. We just don’t know what meaning the events of our lives hold for us in the moment. The trick is to stay open, curious and ready for the possibilities.
I went on several years later to become the owner of my own private practice, which is where I’m typing this from today. I’m my own boss, set my own schedule, and create the environment and opportunities I want to create on a daily basis for myself and my clients. All because I was demoted that day.
I continued to practice a positive attitude of being okay with the unknown and dwelling in possibility over the years and it’s served me well. Not only do new opportunities present themselves on a daily basis, but I hear the messages from my intuition and can follow up on leads meant to elevate my path. With a new-found and fine-tuned awareness the course of my career and my life is magical.
If you’re stuck inside of the vicious negative thought cycle that occurs after a bad event, I encourage you to snap yourself out of it quickly. Don’t ignore how you feel. But take the story out of it and then take action toward the scenario you’d prefer. Any small action will do; even if it’s just practicing clearing your mind and breathing for a while.
Here are 5 Ways to Turn a Bad Thing into Something Amazing:
1. Accept that you just don’t know what the meaning is. It’s okay to not know what this means. How we torture ourselves is by making up our own meaning for a situation, for example; Being demoted meant that I was somehow unprofessional, and a loser. Accept what is instead. I was demoted. That’s it. End of story.
2. Practice clearing your mind of the negativity and self-sabotage. As you hear the voices of negativity try to convince you that you’re bad, or otherwise not enough, clear your mind. Feng Shui in there and make space. Drop down into your body and breathe. Give thinking a rest for a bit and let your sensations and intuition guide you.
3. Be open to possibility. You have no idea what this could mean for you. So don’t judge it. Instead, keep your mind open to the possibility this was meant to be, that something better is coming. Stay curious, and open. It’s a much better way to spend your time waiting until you have solutions.
4. Focus on something better. When you have an idea about the possibilities, it’s time to focus. Allow yourself to dream about what that new thing looks like. Imagine yourself there. Feel the feelings and start to act as-if it’s already happening. This is manifestation 101. And you won’t manifest anything good if you are focusing on the crappy event that occurred.
5. Take action toward that new thing. Now it’s time to walk the walk and go after that new vision. The mental focus is only part of the story. Now that you’re starting to realize this bad event may have turned you in a direction you were meant to go, you can start walking down that path. Any small action step counts. And don’t look back.
It takes a brave kind of healer to do the work necessary to change your thoughts and beliefs. Join me in the comments and tell me a story of something bad turned good in your life! I can’t wait to hear your stories. And if you’re interested in diving deeper – join me on May 1st for Writing for Warrior Healing, my 6-Week online course – a powerful combination of awareness and writing!
