I am blaming the blue floor for sucking out my brain during my test last night.
Yul-Gok, I am convinced, was made up just to mess with me. I’ve never found TKD forms easy–nobody ever asks if my middle name is Grace–but this one refused to settle into the space between my ears. My arms and legs never remembered what to do despite the over-and-over repetition by my super patient teachers.
We tested a week early (it makes for an excellent excuse) and yesterday, I sat in my office and watched the form on You Tube, clicking on endless versions of it one after another, parroting it with miniature moves at my desk, and whispering pleas to the heavens that one of them would cement itself in my head before 6 p.m. I paused the video after each step, strangling an innocent pencil while writing the moves down. And then I dragged my son into our largest room to practice, counting the steps out loud to ensure we had 38.
Three times, we did it perfectly. If only I could video record it and have that count. At 6, we hauled our gear and our water out to the car, and I put my ripped-out piece of paper on top of the mints and mileage tracker and pens on my center console, glancing down at stop signs to chant its steps to myself.
I knew it. I finally knew it.
The test started well enough–exam procedure punches, kicks, and fundamental moves. Nailed them. But when it came time for the form, that blue floor sucked my grey matter out of my right ear (I felt it!) and I got to about move six and blanked.
Nothing. Ummmmmm…right.
We went through the form twice, with some gentle prodding from Master Holloway, and I still flubbed it. I knew this! I trudged off for my sparring gear underneath my own personal black cloud. Because I knew it. I could do it. What just happened?
This morning, I’m trying to let bygones go. Sparring went better than last week (that’s my goal–do just a little better than the week before), I didn’t break my foot on the boards, there’s a new stripe on my belt, and I know I knew that form. Next week we start anew.
I just need to figure out what to do about that blue floor.
Laura here: I told Kim that we have all felt like this at one time or another. There have been times that I have practiced so much, memorized the form down to the last tucked fist, and then completely blanked in the middle of it in a test. I told Danielle last night (she was in the same test as Kim last night) as we were practicing her form, that it is not about being perfect, but that it is about doing your best and keeping going when you are tired, stuck, or think you can’t… I love taekwondo!
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| Kim and Joseph doing their form for their blue stripe! |
