Have you ever had a headache? How about a migraine headache? How about a migraine in your entire body??
That’s exactly how I felt two days ago. Those of you with the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia know exactly what I’m talking about.
I should have caught the red flags. Multiple stressors at one time.
A weekend out of town. Heavily scheduled week. Insufficient downtime.
An overstimulated brain producing two sleepless nights. Consecutively.
I trudged to the kitchen for a drink of water on night two. I didn’t want to know the time. That might make me panic. But my eyes accidentally drifted to that bright blue light on the stove. 5:00 AM. I hadn’t yet fallen asleep. Nor would I.
I had tried MFR self unwinding, reading boring literature, rearranging pillows multiple times—all after my usual nighttime routines—but to no avail. The room temperature was exactly right and there were no digital lights in my bedroom. My phone was left in another room.
My mind kept racing and wouldn’t shut down. This is a common symptom of Fibromyalgia. It doesn’t matter how exhausted you are. Your brain just doesn’t turn off to allow the sweet sleep you crave.
That lack of sleep was the proverbial needle on the camel’s back. And I crashed. Big time.
It was exactly like the most severe day of the worst season in my 30-plus year history of Fibromyalgia. A day like that hadn’t happened in years.
A migraine headache which spreads into your whole body.
Fatigue that feels like you have concrete blocks tied to your ankles when you walk.
Getting up from a chair requires monumental effort to overcome overwhelming inertia.
Exhaustion after taking a shower so that you have to lie down but you don’t recover.
So tired. Nauseous. There is no such thing as a position of comfort.
This fibro flare startled me. Shattered me. Shocked me. Shamed!
I promote my work as a physical therapist practicing holistic bodywork with JFB Myofascial Release. This bodywork is one of the essential parts of treating and healing Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Syndrome. Along with addressing sleep and nutrition.
But mostly— I promote the fact that I have obtained healing from Fibromyalgia.
Was the core of my credibility being debunked? This didn’t feel “healed.” I was bewildered. I was disgraced.
Depressed, I texted my prayer warriors to pray for me. Another symptom of this disease is depression. Chicken or the egg question. Does fibro debility make you depressed or is depression one of the causal agents in fibro? Whatever, I was depressed.
And so I spent the day resting. I had no choice. Stretching. Using heat. No energy for doing—hardly any energy for even thinking. At least not productive thinking. Mental energy requirements can be as draining as physical energy requirements.
Midway through the day, I relented. I let go of the negativity and disillusion. Just ride this thing out. Be gentle with myself. It is what it is. It is what I will make it. I revisited boundaries I need to keep erected.
Two Days Later.
Today. Now. The migraine headache is a memory. The migraine body has only traces of aching when I stretch at end ranges of motion. I have slept soundly.
And therein lies the difference. Years ago, before I started my healing journey, the migraine body and debilitating fatigue were permanent. At least it seemed permanent after three years of what I experienced for two days this week.
I rejoice! I can recover from a fibro flare in less than two days. Two measly days! I’ve bounced back to my normal. I embrace this high maintenance body which can function so well. With safeguards. I resolve to once again be a better sentinel of my body and my spirit.
And this is what gives me an extra measure of expertise in treating my patients with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Syndrome. Or any kind of pain.
I have lived your experience. I know how and where to touch you. I am sensitive to the amount of pressure you tolerate. My heart aches for your heart. I know what a heart feels like when it seems your body has failed you.
I can feel in my body the pain you describe, the fatigue, the solitary part of living with this disease. I understand what you express to me. I am in this battle with you. I fight your fight.
But, oh glory! You can obtain healing! You may live with a high maintenance body like myself. But I embrace this high maintenance body.
Instead of functioning at 20 to 30 per cent, as in the past, I function at 80 to 90 per cent. And I accept that with gladness!
I have been able to work full time. Moved an entire household five times. Established this wondrous Physical Therapy private practice doing JFB Myofascial Release. Babysit active grandkids. Traveled to Europe. Entertained guests at dinner parties. And the list goes on. Now, that sounds pretty normal. It’s close enough to normal for me!
So embrace your high maintenance body. Wherever you are in your healing journey right now. Don’t be discouraged with a setback. Soak it up and listen. Listen to your intuitive body. You need not travel alone. There are many of us out there still learning. Still healing.
Kathryn Sandquist, PT is an expert physical therapist and John F. Barnes-Trained Myofascial Release practitioner with over 30 years of experience. She helps facilitate a powerful healing process in clients who have complex, chronic pain and she knows that path well after successfully battling Fibromyalgia. Kathryn serves men and women who require a unique, holistic, and highly skilled approach to their pain or illness or are looking for an effective, more permanent solution. She’ll help restore your body, mind and soul to its highest level of function and performance. If you’re ready to get your life back, find more information at myofascialreleasene.com. You can connect with her there if you would like to learn more about her healing journey.
