Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on UnsplashWhen will I ever free myself? I thought. With a lifetime habit of giving that special power away to others, I began to see that the only true path to freedom was one that led to my own soul; my intuition standing gatekeeper to a world I’d been craving for so long, not realizing it was right in front of my face all along.
This blog is a special introduction to a dozen more that’ll come in the next weeks; the “Free Yourself” blog party. This idea was inspired by my friend Shirley, who asked the question, “When will I ever free myself?” during our group workshop after sharing her experiences with living in a multi-generational household. In Shirley’s case, it was always her dad she gave her power away to in the name of doing what she was supposed to.
Every two days or so you’ll hear a powerful story from one of the women in the Intuitive Writing for Healers workshop, which is about to roll out it’s third year of awareness, authenticity, courage and badass writing from our beautiful, smart, sexy, purpose-driven visionary healers. It’s my mission to help these women share their stories, and heal themselves and the world in the process.
Here’s my own story of freedom and 5 ways you can begin to think about freeing yourself from the chains of doubt, fear and shame so you can get on with joining the revolution of Brave Healers who are changing the world.
Being the recovering good girl I am, freeing myself required breaking out of a decades-long trance of perfectionism as a path to happiness. Success and achievement were a drug of choice and ensured my entrance to that happy place all people go when they’re good enough, and have worked hard enough.
We all know there’s no such place, but I believed there was.
Growing up watching my parents divorce, and checking off lists in my head of shoulds and supposed tos I made with an understanding those lists would be my ticket to freedom; a life with a good man, a great house, a couple nice cars, two kids, a dog, yearly vacations and possibly a second home.
The problem was my list did not contain anything that felt good. It was solely made up of achievements I thought had to attain, false beliefs based on what I noticed in the world around me — rules made up by everyone else but me. That whole world existed in my head and I didn’t begin to really feel the consequences until well into my marriage.
I could have set myself free much earlier had I been taught to understand what my intuition was, how to reclaim my sense of self-worth, and how to be brave enough to speak up in a world I thought had tried to shut me down.
I was 48 when I finally made the decision to divorce. I’m a couple years on the other side of the practice of awareness, vulnerability, authenticity, and courage it took to go through with that decision and set a bomb in the middle of my perfect family not knowing where the pieces would fall.
~I finally set myself free when I realized more of my days were spent with a feeling of resentment than joy and decided to go for the joy.
~I finally set myself free when I believed in my capability for bigger love.
~I finally set myself free by taking responsibility for the rest of my life and stopped asking permission from everyone else to do the things I was born to do.
~I set myself free when I embodied my worth again; when I calmed down the inner critic voice that had convinced me I’d never be good enough and replaced it with a connection to my intuition.
~I finally set myself free when I started making listening to my own soul a priority over making everyone else happy, unapologetically, with a mission to heal myself.
Learning that language was a tool and skill that ensured happiness and freedom and continues to do that today, allowing me to evolve into the out loud, worthy, radiant, badass brave healer I am today.
Freeing yourself is a journey to your worth, your essence, your intuition and your soul. This freedom has always been there for the taking. This freedom can be yours today.
Here are 5 ways to begin the practice of awareness, self-love and courage you’ll need to feel free and live the life you were born to live:
- Practice mindfulness. I’m talking about awareness. The hot term is mindful presence. Meditation works too. The forms of practice that bring you still and quiet into a space of feeling instead of thinking is the practice that will change everything. They call it a practice for a reason; because it’s something you’ll do forever.
- Master your mindset. Thought awareness is a form of mindful presence that takes things to another level. Question all your thoughts and beliefs. Watch them like a movie, interested and curious. Don’t believe everything you think. Connect to your feeling senses. Get good at understanding and feeling negative emotion quickly and don’t let it gain momentum.
- Fine tune your intuition. Intuition is the language of your own soul. It behooves us to practice understanding this language. As kids we’re connected automatically, until we’re taught not to feel or trust it. Then all bets are off. As adults we can reconnect, relearn and master the language of knowing what feels good and bad to us and make clear decisions based on the messages our intuition sends.
- Trust what inspires you. If you’re inspired with an idea or desire, you were meant to be inspired. Trust the feeling of enthusiasm, passion, inspiration and desires within you and know they are a direct line to source, intuition, purpose and mission. As soon as you start listening to other opinions you give your power away. Trust what you feel first.
- Care for yourself first. Self-love and compassion are required to set yourself free. If everyone else is ahead of you on the list you’ll never feel free. Gratitude, love, joy, and generosity will all flow from the energy you ensure yourself by taking care of you first. If you try to give to much and too long from reserves, you’ll burn out. Give from an overflow. It might surprise you how much you need to start overflowing. Be gentle with yourself, but be fierce about this. Self-love is freedom.
I invite you to come back on October 11th and then every other day after that to read the next Free Yourself blog. This series was meant to inspire, to help give you the perspectives, resources and motivation to feel into what you finally need to do to set yourself free.
Laura Di Franco, MPT is the owner of Brave Healer Productions and a powerhouse who writes to Feng Shui her soul. She’s the author of Brave Healing, a Guide for Your Journey, her sixth book to help inspire your fiercely alive whole self. Join her and write words that build your business and heal the world. The Write Habit online writing club is now open at www.BraveHealer.comand you’ll find her FREE Facebook group HERE!
