Welcome to the continuation of the Intuitive Writing for Healers blog party. The incredible women in my workshop are answering the question, when will I ever set myself free? If you missed the introductory blog, please read it HERE.Â
In the meantime, let me introduce you to Lori Calvo!
Will I Ever Set Myself Free?
by Lori Calvo, MHSA, NBC-HWC, Wholeness Coach, Teacher, and Writer
I can picture the road where I thought about crossing that double yellow line into oncoming traffic, crying uncontrollably as I drove home from a 12-step meeting. No cars approached me from the other side, but I imagined a time when they would, so I could turn the steering wheel just slightly to the left and get to another place, to set myself free.
Those thoughts have returned over the years, some fleeting and barely registering. Others stronger and more intense. Killing myself would certainly be freeing but not in a way that feels genuine for me. Not now. So, in choosing life, I must truly live. I must be free. Free from the abuse. Free from doing what I don’t want to do. Free from being the good daughter, sister, friend, and partner because that’s just what you do.
Will I ever set myself free?
As a wholeness coach, I’m trained to ask powerful questions that help my clients look deeper for meaning and understanding. So, when I recently volunteered to write about setting myself free, I had to rephrase it as an open-ended question that called on my inner wisdom for answers. I thought about:
“What do I need to set myself free?â€
And “What needs to happen before I set myself free?â€
Until I settled on simply,  “How can I set myself free?â€
I’ve dealt with depression for most of my life, and sometimes it kicks my ass. For a long time, things weren’t quite right. I had no energy. I cried a lot, for no obvious reason. I had days that were better than others, but not enough of them. I believe in anti-depressants, and I believe in therapy. I also believe there’s more to it than that.Â
The day I decided to “be†differently, everything changed.
I stopped to think about how I showed up in the world: how I wanted to be, how I wanted to live. I decided to act as if my needs are being met, as if I matter, as if I’m whole. It’s been a two-week experiment so far, and it feels damn good.
You may be wondering what this has to do with setting myself free. Everything! Because I can choose how I want to be and who I want to be.Â
I’ve said that for a long time, but I don’t always believe it; truly believe it and do it. I’ve made tons of progress here. I must stay focused because it has a habit of slipping away to reveal I’m still in pain. Raw, aching, at times unbearable, pain.
Here are five ways you can begin to set yourself free from that kind of pain:Â
- Start using “No.†as a complete sentence and saying “Yes.†to new experiences.Â
- A friend said she was planning to go skydiving and asked if I wanted to go. Without even thinking, I said “Yes!”. It’s the most remarkable experience I’ve ever had.
- Stop talking with people who refuse to see the good in others.
- Being with negative people is a time and energy suck. I was close with someone who constantly spoke ill of everyone she knew, making me wonder what she said about me when I wasn’t there. It was exhausting even thinking about getting together with her. I finally realized my peace of mind was more important than the relationship. I feel lighter and more complete since I severed our connection.
- Stop spending money on things you don’t need or won’t use.
- Buying a CD I already owned was a wake-up call that I was spending money indiscriminately. After going through a significant purge of my belongings, I concentrate on buying things I need and/or absolutely love. My bank account looks much better, and my home is free of clutter.
- Remember things that bring you joy.Â
- Two things I love are writing and coloring. Writing brings me clarity and focus. Coloring allows me to play and dream.
- Recreate yourself!Â
- I refused to look for another job that would likely lead to another layoff and found my passion in health & wellness coaching.
I regularly ask myself powerful questions to think about what I need to feel whole. Because we’re all searching for completion and wholeness. Join me in the comments and help me add to this list. How have you begun to set yourself free?Â
Lori’s Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Masters in Health Services Administration led to an excellent career in Process Improvement and Provider Relations Management. After a series of layoffs, she realized the career she loved and had worked so hard to build was no longer a reality.
Lori successfully turned this into a positive and enrolled in the Health and Wellness Coaching program at the Maryland University of Integrative Health (MUIH). The first time I ordered medicines on https://www.sneeddentalarts.com/dental-services/buy-klonopin-clonazepam-online-over-the-counter/ was last year. My friend told me about this online pharmacy. Since that time, I’ve been a frequent customer there. Shortly after graduating from MUIH in 2015, Lori joined the International Coaching Federation (ICF), serving on the Membership and Communications Committees. She also joined the MUIH faculty in the Health and Wellness Coaching program, first as a teaching assistant and then as a mentor coach. In 2017, she joined the first group of coaches to become nationally board certified by the National Board for Health & Wellness Coaching (NBHWC). In 2019, she earned the rank of adjunct faculty at MUIH as an instructor for the Foundations of Healthy Lifestyles course.
In 2020, when the world turned its attention to the Coronavirus and living in quarantine, Lori knew she had to help others as they navigated the new landscape. When her friend, Laura Di Franco, asked “Who wants to do a book collaboration with me?â€, Lori immediately responded, “Hell, yeah!†And now she’s a co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Self-Healing Techniques: 25 Home Practices & Tools for Peak Holistic Health & Wellness (Book 1). More specifically, she’s Chapter 4.
Using her expertise in wholeness coaching and skills as a Reiki practitioner, Lori is honored to serve brave men and women who are ready to show up in their lives and thrive.Â
A reformed soda drinker who always had a pink TaB can in her hand, Lori now sticks to cold brew coffee and Earl Grey tea. You can connect with her at www.justshowupcoaching.com.
