Do You Fear Being Seen? How to Let It Go!
I’d say the most common fear for people is the fear of being seen. Of course, there are people who thrive in the limelight. When given a stage, a website, any kind of audience, they’re set to shine it up.
I am terrified of being seen. How about you?
My Story
For me, the point of no return came when I was about seven years old.
You need to know that I was a precocious child. I’d learned to read by the time I was four years old. I started kindergarten early and I could read and write some and count before the other children could. So, like any other smarty-pants child… I showed off.
I loved to play with my imaginary friends. I saw angels in the rafters and other weird things like that. I saw emotions as colors and sometimes it scared me. I was different, quite different from the other children around me.
By the time I was seven, I loved to read more than I loved to play with the other kids. Their games weren’t as thrilling as the things I read about. My grandpa Victor fed my appetite for far-flung adventures and so I did.
One day, instead of doing the dusting, I hid behind the door to get a sneak peek at the latest version of Reader’s Digest. It was engrossing, whatever article I was reading. It was new and wonderful stuff.
I heard my mother speaking to one of her sisters. She was talking about me. What I remember of her words went something like this:
“Yes, she’s different alright. She doesn’t play with other kids her age and she does all this weird stuff. She isn’t anything like Tere (my sister).
I wish she were more like the other kids. It would be so much easier.”
I was devastated! In my own mind, I thought that my own mother thought that I was weird, that I wasn’t good enough as I was. That was the beginning of the retreat into invisibility for me.
The Truth Is….
It really sucks when something like this happens to a kid, particularly from their own mother. I know now that she didn’t know I was listening. She didn’t want to hurt me. But to my child-sized soul, it was a mortal wound.
We’ve all had some version of a traumatic experience happen, right?
By the time I was an adult, “Who Do You Think You Are?” shouted in my mind loudly. I stopped giving myself the chance to be who I was. I built big, high walls to protect me. My highest ambition was to blend in with the paint on the wall.
How Did I Set Me Free?
I Felt the Fear and Did It Anyway
Find a way to clear your energy. If you are able to, work with someone that can help you with mindset, focus, and fear. I did. But, find someone who doesn’t try to fix the fear. No one can do that.
I built a relationship with fear. A relationship where I wasn’t a basket case because of fear. I learned to see resistance for what it is. But when I stopped resisting, the fear relaxed its hold.
You can’t kill fear. It vanished only when I became present to it and took action anyway.
It isn’t easy.
I Gave Others Permission to Judge Me
Like a mentor told me, “No matter what you do, not everybody is going to like you.” I stopped sacrificing me to be likable to them.
I stopped trying to control the inevitable and gave my self-space to come out and play.
I Measure Success for Myself
Being a Mom takes years to get used to. Thing is, someone’s always trying to tell you how to do it “right.”
Truth is I had to trust myself. I had to trust that I am innately worthwhile. I had to stop comparing me to other people. I had to learn to do it my way.
I Still Expect to Be Afraid
I learned to welcome the fear.
I’m still afraid. It never goes away. When I try to do anything that’s bold and different, it still terrifies me.
But it doesn’t stop me.
What do you say
Are you afraid? What has worked for you to let you act?
Leave me a comment. Share if fear has shown up in your life.
Warmest hugs to you!
Lilia Lee
As a spiritually-centered, ex-business coach, Lilia Lee has embraced the shaman in her. She has learned to listen to the wisdom her guides bring her to create her life, including her writing. Her mission is to build awareness in others of what is impeding their movement forward and resolving the obstacles. And, to teach heart-centered business owners how to Think Like a CEO. To learn more about Lilia, click here.
