I was talking to a fellow myofascial release practitioner and friend today about letting go. We both admitted that when receiving a session of bodywork we have found ourselves trying too hard to let go. And if you are trying to let go, you are not letting go. In fact, if you are trying, you are probably contracting, resisting, tightening and thinking a whole lot. Why is it so hard to let go, and how do you know if you actually manage to do it? Why should we learn to let go?
Letting go is physical and it is mental. I would like to offer the idea that to let go you must surrender to the present moment feeling awareness you have, both physical and emotional, in your body. If you are trying to let go, you are thinking about it, analyzing it, judging yourself for not doing it right, and you are not necessarily in your present moment feeling awareness. Surrendering to the physical and emotional feelings that you notice in your body means that you are feeling and watching them like a movie, with mindful presence, curiosity, and openness. When you let go, you can feel. You don’t really need to think about it too much. You just notice, and make space for the feelings and sensations. When you make space for feeling, you can get valuable information for healing.
When you really let go some magical things can happen. You are allowing your body to be in a healing state. You are, with your attention and awareness, listening to what your body is telling you and receiving information. You are learning to trust what you feel, and get in touch with that intuitive healer inside of you that knows the answers. This isn’t something I was ever taught growing up, or in school, or even in physical therapy school. it wasn’t until I began taking the holistic, healing courses like John F. Barnes Myofascial Release and Craniosacral therapy that I started to understand that the healer was inside of me. In fact, most of my young life I was taught that when something was wrong or I was sick, somebody else would be the one to tell me what it was and what I should do about it. Nobody ever said that I could listen to my own body for answers.
This healer inside knows what you need. She knows how to guide you. If you would only learn to listen. We listen by learning how to first let go.
So my friend and I talked about letting go on the table, but letting go can happen anytime, anywhere, in any instance you feel tight, tense, restricted, anxious or depressed. Only you are going to have to feel those things first in order to be able to let go. You WANT to feel those things when they are whispering, rather than when they have to scream at you to get you to listen, in the form of pain. What if we could feel our tension and tightness, the pulls and tugs on our heart when we are sad, the clench in our gut when we are mad, and let go? What if we could let go when those feelings were just a whisper inside, rather than a raging monster? How would it feel to feel the feelings, be brave enough to go there, and make space for them?
Part of our practice as myofascial release therapists is helping facilitate this process of awareness and release. And just know that we therapists are all practicing it ourselves. We can’t take you where we haven’t gone ourselves. We understand the struggle. But we know the benefits of persisting in the practice of letting go.
I have noticed that one of the most difficult times I have letting go is when I am in conflict with another person. I feel the feelings of anger, frustration, and annoyance as a tightness in my chest or an ache in my neck and shoulders. I feel it, but making space and letting go doesn’t always do the trick when someone else is involved. Sometimes I need to give those feelings some words. So one more thing I will offer is that sometimes, when you can voice your feelings, just simply as a description of what is happening inside of you, the energy will soften, and you can make space with another, and let go. It might sound like this, “As we are talking right now I am feeling a lot of tightness in my chest. This is making me feel so anxious. I really want to let you know how I feel but I am having difficulty.” Basically we have just admitted to being human, and since the person you are talking to is also human (hopefully) speaking this way allows both parties to relax a little and respond, instead of react.
So letting go, surrendering to the present moment feeling awareness you have, without analysis or judgement, and making space by relaxing into those feelings, is the practice. It is a practice of healing. You can practice for a moment right now. Ask yourself if you are feeling or thinking. Ask yourself what you are aware of. Be able to answer the question, “What do you notice when you feel your body?” If you have thoughts of the future or of the past, you are not in the present feeling moment. Can you feel the clenching? Can you feel the intense worry? Where is that worry inside of you? What if you make space and let go?
What if you could let go?
Please check out my dear friend Phil Tavolacci’s new book called, “What’s In Your Web?” He beautifully and bravely describes, with personal stories, and stories by fellow practitioners (including yours truly!) the way of John F. Barnes Myofascial Release, a way to let go, and heal.
