Thanks Tara Carrington for the title of this blog. When Tara shared a comment with me on my When Your Soul Speaks Facebook Group page I realized that this indeed described my whole experience over the last few years. Being me, the fully unleashed, unapologetic, overly enthusiastic, kick-ass warrior goddess, required being out loud. Becoming the me I was born to be and learning how to be “out loud” was the adventure I was meant to take.
Are you wanting to be out loud, but experiencing fear as a paralyzing force? Well, I’m here to tell you that you got this. Really you do. And I need your help.
I suppose being out loud isn’t a requirement. For me it’s meant waking up and being brave. I know plenty of people who do not have any issues with being out loud, and if they do, they don’t show it. It took me decades to be able to be out loud. Why did it take so long? I don’t know, but I’m over worrying about the timing, and much more interested in playing in the now.
Now is where I get to be whatever I choose. The moment provides me with the opportunity to be who I came here to be. When I play small, hide and stuff my expression the result is physical tightness inside my body. I suppose there came a point in my life where that feeling was costing me too much. The dues I was paying for staying small were too high.
The biggest question I was faced with when deciding to play bigger was who was I to do this? It was a question of worth. Self worth was the big fight I’ve had to fight. It’s not everyone’s fight, but it was the one I was meant to win. Why would we look around us in this big bad world of over 7 billion people and think we were less worthy than anyone?
I started understanding something important – that if I wasn’t going to shine, it would just be a shame that I couldn’t get over myself enough to share my massive gifts with the world. I thought about the people I might help, and realized that I’d be withholding that help should I choose to play small.
Living out loud became important because me hiding inside myself, all painful and shy and unworthy was doing absolutely no fucking good. And I’m about doing good. The huge Aha was about the fact that the world needs more of us; that there is plenty of room for as many kick-ass warrior goddesses as want to play.
Thoughts like, there are already so many people doing what I want to do, or who am I to teach this, or nobody will want to hear what I have to say are all bullshit. These are the messages coming from the part of me that was taught that bullshit a long time ago; and that has nothing to do with the fiercely alive person standing here today. I had to ask her for a separation.
That part of me who shrinks when I think about expressing the real me and feels afraid and three when I’m out loud is a part of me I’m grateful for – she’s just trying to protect me. But now she doesn’t serve my bigger purpose and dreams, so I have to separate from her messages and be the me that is shining now.
I’m happy to be moving on from “I’m worthy” to “How big do I want to play?” It means I’ll be helping more people to wake up and be brave. It means playing out loud, and continuing this grand adventure of healing and doing more of what I love. And it’s doing more of what I love that creates the inspiration that lights up the world, which gets me uber clear about what I’m here to do.
I’m here to be brave and feel awesome, and to show others the way.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself…maybe even grab your journal and pen and spend a few minutes writing about each of these; see what comes. When we dwell in the big questions, we are playing big.
1. When will you live your own out loud adventure?
2. When will you decide to play big?
3. When will you realize that you’re worthy?
4. When will you realize the world needs your special gifts?
5. How will be out loud in your life?
Share with me in the comments below how you are struggling with living out loud.
If you are interested in playing big and want to join the Warrior Writing 28 Day Challenge, where over 1000 of us from around the world are writing for 5 minutes a day for the month of July – you can join HERE.
If you want to get help waking up, being brave, healing your shit and doing more of what you love – then sign up for my newsletter HERE.
Stay tuned for open enrollment (Aug 10th) for my new online class: From Awareness to Creativity – Part 1: Writing as a Healing Practice!
Find me on Facebook HERE and the Warrior Love, a Journal to Inspire Your Fiercely Alive Whole Self page HERE
Or just drop me a line and let me know how you are living out loud – bewarriorlove@gmail.com
