I spent so many years defending myself. Tired. There were people needing me to be someone else – for their benefit. When really my truth wasn’t even close to who they were making me out to be. Each time they tried I decided to just let it go because it was downright easier to just know my truth, and let them do and say as they wished. I would find a way to rise from the embers if the need ever arose.
My position was one of defense, of reaction. They would say something, and I would respond, making sure I spoke my truth as I knew it. I didn’t need to convince, or care – because I said it, and so it was.
I spoke it and walked away, but inside I screamed. I cried. I begged the heavens for why. I allowed my insides to be torn apart. I allowed the shrapnel to wound me. And those outbursts grew in affect with each delivery. Accumulation was destroying me. My physical body was breaking down.
I was very unhappy. I felt no joy. There was no smiling. I was all fear in getting to know somebody. I was misanthropic. Nothing really mattered because I was dealt the shitty hand in life. I was just going to wake up every day and get through it.
As a result of this coping mechanism I had low self confidence. This low confidence kept me at a developmental low – not able to see past the circumstances, and resolving to the fact that this is my life.
Around 40 my life changed – I lost my business, my home, my possessions, and my ability to do life. Yes – lost. It was taken from me. Someone profoundly tried to force the biggest of all Untruths upon me.
From those embers I rose.
I found strength. I found the want for strength to rise up and live differently. I knew I was being given a second chance – and I wasn’t going to fuck it up. I literally said this to myself. And for days I heard it in my head. If I tried to be weak I heard it. When I felt strong I heard it. This statement became my drive. I recognized this wasn’t going to be easy. I recognized that when you’re handed a second opportunity at something, and you declare to not fuck it up – that I would need to continuously find strength. And encouragement. And I was going to need confidence because, well because this was going to be new.
I could no longer act as I used to. I was no longer interested in my old ways. I suddenly saw how they were misguided and not productive. They no longer worked toward something of substance. What mattered to me was suddenly very different than what I used to feel.
I relearned so much. I relearned how to be me, socially. I relearned how I wanted to think, act, and do me. I learned new career skills, and started on a new path. I was on a path of exploration, of self discovery, and it opened me up to possibilities I didn’t even knew existed.
For example – I began to question the things I previously ignored. Someone told me once that when you question something – you keep questioning until the answer comes back to you. I’ll be the first to admit – this is tough! It’s so easy to just stop at the first answer you land on – but this is where reactions come from – because the finger’s always pointing at someone else, right?
In time, it became apparent that I was “waking up.” I had real shift happening. And I realized that I was discovering my purpose. The more purposeful I began to feel, the more I wanted for myself. Not in material possessions like I had before – but I wanted to feel better. I wanted a healthy physical body. I wanted good thoughts. I wanted real friends. I want real connection in life. I want beauty around me – in all that I see and experience, and I want to feel joy. I want to feel happy about how my life is going. I want to live and be and do and act – toward this goal. I found purpose.
Now I have a lot to offer. And I want to offer it. I have so much to give. I am full, I am me – acting as my true self.
The choices for my new career have helped me – I have great skill to provide. I’m good at what I do, confidently so. So I’m putting myself out there – intentionally, purposefully. Because I know that what I have overcome, what I have learned, this mindset, and where I am headed, probably sounds a little bit like where you want to be.
Our stories may not be the same, but the connection is no different. I invite you to have a conversation with me. Let me share what I have learned, and what that can do for you.
Lisa Karasek is an expert Quantum Healer, TRE® Certified Facilitator and Certified Eating Psychology Coach, who is able to update her client’s states of being to assist in healing and ascension. Using ancient, multi-dimensional healing and angelic energies, Consciousness-based practices, and TRE® (tension and trauma releasing exercises), Lisa powerfully guides her clients to a healthier, happier, more purposeful life. Lisa is dedicated and passionate about helping you work with the dynamics of your self relationship and believes this is the key to most Mind Body Spirit disease and illness. Find more information about her and her programs at www.LK-CEPC.com
