I started blogging back in 2008 for my physical therapy business, and I remember starting to pitch big blog sites with my article ideas—the fear of rejection as a writer was real back then. I was so afraid of not being good enough.
When I started pitching agents, who were pitching publishers on my behalf, the feeling was worse. The not-good-enough fear reared its ugly head even louder, and I had so many days when I was ready to give up.
What I quickly realized is that a rejection note was way more fun than no response at all, and as I worked on my mindset and strategy, the fears started to melt away. I realized that being rejected by publishers isn’t as bad as you think. I’d much rather get a rejection letter than sit and wonder if I’ll ever get a response. Every time I receive one, I just say, “Next.”
The fear of rejection in writing can be triggered in so many ways. You’ll have to go on a bit of a self-development journey with me here and walk your walk of awareness so that when this happens to you, you can pause and shift the habitual self-sabotaging pattern going on. These moments can occur from situations that happened to us so long ago. Sometimes we catch ourselves in the middle of it and question the intensity of our reaction. And that is exactly the trick. The trick is recognizing that you’re reacting, pausing, and then choosing a different thought, response, and healthier action.
With awareness, you have a choice!
Awareness has meant everything to me on my journey as a writer and author. It’s been the difference between success and failure most days. What I know is that I have a big purpose in the world and that knowing moves through me in the form of brave words. And those brave words change lives. When I get discouraged about rejection and allow that to paralyze me, I keep someone from being helped by my message. I came to this clarity: This isn’t about me anymore. It’s about the person who’s waiting to read my words. That clarity helps me find the courage to pitch on the bad days.
After pitching tons of blog sites and agents, I realized that pitching is a numbers game, and it’s for those who will persevere. You have to start to enjoy the rejections with the knowing that each one of them is getting you closer to a yes. Every time you make an effort, you’re closer to the win. But if you quit, your win won’t ever come.
I have a stellar book-writing coach who always said, “Try again.” And I took that advice until I had my first big blog win on MindBodyGreen. I also took that advice until an agent said yes to my book proposal. That was a fun day.
I want to share a few aha moments and tips to help you move through your rejections faster, stay motivated, and keep your eyes on the prize.
Tips for How to Overcome Rejection That Helped Me Become a Writer
- Join a writing community to help you stay accountable to the process and stay motivated to keep reaching for your goals. Stop doing this by yourself and build the community that will help you reach those goals faster. Coping with rejection as an author can feel like an awfully lonely road until you realize we’re all going through the same thing.
- Check your old mindset at the door and celebrate each rejection. Seriously, celebrate them! A rejection notice means you actually had a response from someone whom you can actually reach out and develop a relationship with in terms of networking. Each rejection is getting you closer to a win. Remind yourself of that daily!
- A rejection of your writing is not a rejection of you. Stop tying rejection to your self-worth. It’s more of a dating game. There will be people who jive with your personality and your writing. You’ll find them. You have to keep looking. It’s not about you as a person. It’s about finding the right person.
Honestly, the biggest message today is about your mindset. This journey isn’t for the weak. Get your ninja moves of mindset on, and keep getting your brave words out into the world in a bigger way. Check your self-sabotaging BS at the door. Practice believing in yourself. Know that when you’re putting yourself out there, there’s bound to be rejections. But you’re not here to try to make the whole world like you. In fact, if you’re not getting some rejections, you’re doing things wrong. Your style is going to resonate with the exact right person. It’s about sharing that writing until you find them.
