Shortly after the complicated birth of my first child and before the slightly less complicated birth of my second, an OB/GYN gave me a medical opinion about the pain I was having that went like this: “You need a total hysterectomy and reconstruction of your uterus.” I was thirty three years old at the time.
Holy shit, are you kidding me?
That was fifteen years ago. I never had that surgery but instead chose to follow my instincts and pursue conservative treatments instead. Doing that would freak out several people in my life. My mom and my husband both wondered why I was ignoring what the doctors were telling me to do and listening to my body instead.
Over the years I have learned the key to healing, which is to use awareness to listen to the messages my body sends every day. I needed this skill to heal well and to be able to teach it to others. After twenty years exploring the world of healing I can say with confidence that awareness is the key to healing. Your body gives you important messages, but they won’t matter if we don’t listen.
After my son was born I was left with uterine, bladder and rectal prolapses due to a forceps delivery and an episiotomy. I was a serious runner prior to this and had trained and run three marathons before he was born. I was desperate to get back to running after giving birth, yearning for my pre-baby body and kick ass fitness level to return as soon as possible.
The pain I was experiencing when I began to try to run again was intense. If I didn’t completely clear my bowel before a run I would begin to have pain after just a mile or two, and would have to stop and walk. I managed to train anyway and ran a half marathon shortly after he was born. I finished the race but had to find a place to lay down afterward because the pain and nausea I felt would not subside for quite a while. I should have listened to my body and given it the healing time it needed before training like that again.
It was after this race that I decided to see a doctor for help, and ended up with the surgical opinion I described. I would eventually go for another, but similar, opinion and leave feeling hopeless and resigned to the idea that I would have to give up running as my main form of exercise. I would lose one of the things I wrapped all my self worth up in, and the transition was tough.
After discovering the martial art of Tae Kwon Do, and replacing running with kicking, I would, for the following nine years, learn about listening to my mind and to my body. My uterus had said a loud and clear “NO,” to running long distances but it was surprisingly happy about kicking. I then had to learn a new level of listening. More subtle messages about fatigue and emotional distress would set me up for injury if I wasn’t paying attention. I started to learn when I was too tired for intense physical exercise. I didn’t always pay attention and those were the nights I would invariably come home bruised. I started to learn when I was a little tighter than usual, which required me to slow down and pace my warm up. Not listening to that cue would always lead to a muscle pull if I ignored it.
These past nine years gave me a level of connection and awareness with my thoughts and my body that helped me to maintain peak performance in all areas of my life, even in my relationships with other people. I could count on the feelings I had inside of me, tightness in my chest or ache in my solar plexus, to guide me when I was interacting with someone, and allow me to make choices about what I needed to say, or not say, do or not do, in any particular circumstance.
I am describing a connection with intuition, a fancy term for deep awareness and trust of that awareness. What my uterus taught me was how to understand the language of my intuition, the sensations, thoughts and emotions, and listen in a way that served my peak health and purpose.
The other night during Tae Kwon Do we were practicing our sparring after a several week break. I was more out of breath than usual but wasn’t worried about that. I knew I was out of shape. When it began to feel like my uterus was going to drop out of my vagina I stopped and asked for a break. My body said “NO,” loud and clear and this time I was listening.
Nowadays, I can run. I do short stints of two to three miles without pain. I won’t be running long distances again but I enjoy the activity now even more because rather than having a training goal, I can float along the trails and soak up the energy of nature. I don’t mind slowing down or walking when I need to. There is no voice telling me to run faster or farther, or telling me I am no good if I don’t complete a certain mile or course.
When my body needs something different it tells me and I listen. We get along now, much better than we used to. I am proud of her and so incredibly grateful she has carried me this far.
Your body is talking to you every day, all day long. How you listen, what messages you hear and what you do about them are all things that you can learn and practice. To understand your body’s language you must relax, quiet down and get still. An initial practice of meditation will help you connect with your intuition. Later, when you are familiar and comfortable with the language, you will be able to hear and respond no matter what you are doing.
5 Ways To Listen To Your Body
1. Sit or lie down and bring your focus to your breath. Quiet your mind and bring your attention to the inhale and the exhale. Try this for at least 5 minutes.
2. When you are standing at the kitchen counter washing dishes, pay attention to the temperature of the water, to the feel of the soap on your hands, the weight of the dish you are holding. Now sink deeper into your body. How do your legs feel as you stand there. Do you have any tightness or pain anywhere?
3. Find a quiet space and sit or lie down. Use a candle or other peaceful visual aid and focus on it. Quiet your mind and let your visual focus soften and relax. Sink down into your body and notice what you feel. Are you holding your breath? Are your muscles clenching or bracing? Is there anything tight or sore? Soften around those areas and let go. Keep a soft focus on the candle and continue to bring your attention back to your body when it drifts to your thoughts.
4. The next time you get in your car, begin to pay attention to how your body is positioned in the car seat. Notice how tightly you are gripping the steering wheel. Where are your shoulders positioned as you drive? Notice any extra tension in your back, butt or legs. Feel the pressure of your body in the seat and the temperature in the car. Is there a way you can relax and still drive? Can you make the activity less effortful?
5. When you are exercising, do you feel any tightness or pain? Where is it? How big of an area? Can you feel your body bracing or clenching to compensate for the pain? Do you notice other parts of your body straining to take on extra work? Are you breathing or holding your breath during certain movements? Does the exercise feel easy, medium or hard? What happens in your body when it goes from easy to medium? From medium to hard? Are you exercising through the pain? How loudly does your body have to talk to you before you notice something is wrong?
Every single moment is an opportunity to practice your listening skills. There will be situations when you find it more difficult than others to practice, where you are triggered into a reaction of anger or frustration. Notice this and know that you have an opportunity for healing in those moments. In fact, you have an opportunity for healing, expression, creativity, joy and love in any single moment you choose, it is just a matter of listening.
If you are interested in joining me for an epic workshop where we will get up close and personal with the tool of awareness and how it can transform your life, don’t miss the early registration discount for When Your Soul Speaks, Healing Moves for 2015!
Laura Probert, MPT has practiced physical therapy over 20 years. She is the owner of Bodyworks Physical Therapy and the author of “Warrior Love, A Journal To Inspire Your Fiercely Alive Whole Self,” and “Living, Healing and Taekwondo.” Through her brand of physical therapy, her writing and the martial arts, she hopes to inspire people to find their own inner warrior. Find workshop and book details and info about her healing, writing and kicking passions at these sites: www.bodyworksptonline.com www.bewarriorlove.com www.facebook.com/warriorlove www.twitter.com/livehealtkd
