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Who Do You Think You Are? By Lori Calvo

Write about the unapologetic me? Hell yeah! I’m in. And when I sat down to write, I started having doubts. Big ones. Am I really living unapologetically? Really?

The truth is, I’m not sure I know what that means. 

How ridiculous. Who would apologize simply for being who they are? And then it hit me. I’ve been doing it most of my life. 

I was a precocious child. I learned to read earlier than most and asked a lot of questions to understand the world around me. As I got older, I still asked a lot of questions. My birth father baled before I could walk, and I needed to know about him. My stepfather didn’t always make sense to me, and I wanted to understand him better. 

My mother used to enjoy my questions, thinking they were cute coming from a child. When I entered my teens, she got annoyed by them. And then she got angry. 

The woman who raised me by herself, who had been my best friend, was now accusing me of trying to start fights, as if to say, “Who do you think you are?”

I remember how painful that was for me. I began to second guess everything for fear of saying the wrong thing. I worried about how she might feel when I said something. I carefully chose my words before allowing them to leave my mouth. I loved her and didn’t want to upset her. 

And it wasn’t just my mother. I agonized about how to speak to family, friends, and coworkers without causing any confusion. I didn’t want them to think I was trying to start a fight.

I no longer felt confident when I spoke. I doubted everything I said. I was sure my words were upsetting. 

I learned to keep my mouth shut most of the time.

Looking back, I can see I shut myself off from the part of me that now gives me great joy. I realize where I was comfortable exploring ideas and entertaining deep questions, others were not. Had they been brave and taken time for reflection, we could have had amazing conversations. 

As a wholeness coach, I regularly have amazing conversations. I ask powerful questions to help brave souls identify what they need to feel whole. Being curious and asking questions is how I show up in the world, and it’s how I can be of service. 

I’ve come full circle, right back where I started. I found a missing piece to what I need to feel whole. I didn’t realize it until this very moment. 

I get it. I know what it means to live unapologetically. 

Who do you think you are?

The answer to that is, “I am.” Simple. Complete. Whole.

We’re all searching for completion and wholeness. Join me in the comments and tell me how the unapologetic you shows up. If you’re not sure, I’m here to help.

Lori’s Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Masters in Health Services Administration led to an excellent career in Process Improvement and Provider Relations Management. After a series of layoffs, she realized the career she loved and had worked so hard to build was no longer a reality.

Lori successfully turned this into a positive and enrolled in the Health and Wellness Coaching program at the Maryland University of Integrative Health (MUIH). Shortly after graduating from MUIH in 2015, Lori joined the International Coaching Federation (ICF), serving on the Membership and Communications Committees. She also joined the MUIH faculty in the Health and Wellness Coaching program, first as a teaching assistant and then as a mentor coach. In 2017, she joined the first group of coaches to become nationally board certified by the National Board for Health & Wellness Coaching (NBHWC). In 2019, she earned the rank of adjunct faculty at MUIH as an instructor for the Foundations of Healthy Lifestyles course.

In 2020, when the world turned its attention to the Coronavirus and living in quarantine, Lori knew she had to help others as they navigated the new landscape. When her friend, Laura Di Franco, asked “Who wants to do a book collaboration with me?”, Lori immediately responded, “Hell, yeah!” And now she’s a co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Self-Healing Techniques: 25 Home Practices & Tools for Peak Holistic Health & Wellness (Book 1). More specifically, she’s Chapter 4.

Using her expertise in wholeness coaching and skills as a Reiki practitioner, Lori is honored to serve brave men and women who are ready to show up in their lives and thrive. 

A reformed soda drinker who always had a pink TaB can in her hand, Lori now sticks to cold brew coffee and Earl Grey tea. You can connect with her at www.justshowupcoaching.com.

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