If you ever used the idea that there are already enough healers in the world as an excuse to avoid claiming your place and shining your light, stop that right now! With 7 billion people on the planet, we need as many light workers as we can get. Come shine with me.
I used to look around me and think that with so many people doing healing work in my community and in the world, the world didn’t need me so much. I didn’t see any room to fit in or be successful. I would watch as others celebrated success with their books, workshops and businesses and have to deal with pangs of envy. I would quickly get discouraged and hear a voice that said, “See, someone’s already doing that. The world doesn’t need you too.” “You just aren’t good enough to be successful at this,” that voice would continue.
This voice was followed by continual thoughts in my head that succeeded in keeping me small, powerless and paralyzed because I believed them. I gave this voice serious weight. I am not sure who I thought was doing all that negative talk, but I couldn’t separate from it, and let the thoughts become emotions that ran my life.
As I created space between those thoughts and myself by observing them (I literally began a practice of awareness of my thoughts) I was able to see that they did not come from my creative, intuitive, brilliant kick-ass healer. She was way nicer than that. They were old, conditioned, self-sabotaging, negative, harmful little buggers that did nothing but render me completely powerless.
At one point I decided to name this voice. This simple act was a total game changer. When Martha piped up, I not only began to recognize her voice, but now she had a name, which meant she was not me. This made it substantially easier to separate from the negativity, shut it down and choose a better, healthier way to think and act.
Now when I hear, “Who are you to be a healer? The world has plenty of those already,” I can reply with, “Who am I not to be?” What purpose is there to staying small and not shining my light? No good ones I can think of.
The voice still tries to be heard. But now it’s just noise in my head that I recognize so quickly it barely gets any real estate in my mind. I began my spiritual journey reading book after book about manifesting my dreams. I understood what they were saying about my thoughts and about making my default thinking a form of gratitude. What I didn’t realize at the time is how disciplined I would have to be – how ingrained the bad thought patterns were.
My bad patterns, as many people’s do, started in childhood. I was made to believe certain things about myself that weren’t true, but as a kid I had no way to really know the truth. I grew up believing that I wasn’t worthy, or good enough. It took a long time, and a lifetime of perfectionism to come around to realizing that I was as worthy as the next soul, and so good enough.
Even with a fierce, new-found love for myself, and an intense desire to share my light and message with the world, I have to be diligent with my practice of awareness.
Martha is still persistent and still pretty fucking negative. If I fall into my old patterns (Which for me means I turn three – small, fearful and powerless) I begin to listen and believe what I’m hearing and then no good thing comes from it. In fact, it can lead to a pretty vicious cycle of trash talking myself.
Now, more than ever, I get it when the spiritual gurus say, “Surround yourself with people who lift you up!” Some days if the criticism or judgement from someone close to me gets piled onto my own negative self talk, I am doomed. My plans to heal the world can be crushed in one short conversation. We really are our own worst critic. We don’t need anyone else adding to that pit of shame and fear.
I have tried to take it one step further. When I hear my fear voice, I call her out. When thoughts of “Not good enough,” or “You don’t deserve this,” or “This is going to be a disaster,” creep in, I can hear it and think wow, there’s Martha, trying to make me believe those lies again. Will she ever shut up?
Observing and reflecting on this process of awareness really helps. It amuses me now. I am always surprised by the way I can still be triggered and fall unconscious when it comes to doing things that bring me out of my comfort zone. Now, instead of letting fear completely paralyze me, I feel the physical feeling, reflect on the conditioned beliefs it brings up, and use that whole process as a compass that points me in the direction of where to move next.
The idea of fear being my compass was the second game changer. Instead of dreading things that bring up that feeling, I get to be curious and interested. With that kind of awareness, I get to make a choice and take action or not, based on what really serves my higher purpose for healing and shining my light.
With awareness, inspiration and a little warrior love, I can continue to share my light and my message without a doubt that there is a place here that is mine to claim.
7 billion people.
Plenty of room.
Come shine with me.
Laura Probert, MPT is a published author, healer and black belt in Tae Kwon Do. She is the owner of Bodyworks Physical Therapy and Soul Camp, LLC. Find more about her healing, writing and kicking passions here: www.bodyworksptonline.com and here: www.BeWarriorLove.com
