She barely got the words out as choking tears began to flow. “Please don’t apologize for giving yourself permission to feel and express your truth,” I said. And class continued as the dozen other ladies and I all felt what was inside of us; our own pain, experiences, and discomfort.
I got to thinking after that. What would it look like to be our fully-authentic, badass-feeling selves without apology?
What does the unapologetic you look like? Sound like? Act like? Does she even exist?
What do you catch yourself still apologizing for in the name of perfect good girl, or “appropriate” or “professional?”
What still paralyzes you? Triggers you into silence? Or an “I’m sorry.”
I’m not sure I can count how many times I’ve uttered the words “I’m sorry,” just as I burst into tears. Like I wanted to catch the emotional flow beforehand and warn the poor bystander it was about to happen so they’d be prepared.
For what? Human emotion?
Don’t cry, I hear in my head. And the feeling is somewhere between my heart-chest and throat. It chokes me only because I’m trying to close it off. I don’t want you to see me cry. I don’t want you to see that ugly face I make when I’m sad, hurt or devastated.
I don’t want to feel it. And I don’t want to have to express it. Somewhere along the line the expression of it became something I learned to say “I’m sorry” for.
Why do we apologize for feeling? When truly being able to feel everything in someone else’s presence is actually a gift you give them. When you give someone the gift of your full expression, you’re saying, “I trust you with my heart.”
I began to know the unapologetic, wild goddess in myself as I moved toward joy, connected with my inner wisdom and intuition and starting hanging with other goddesses who were practicing the same things.
Unapologetic became an aware way of being when, if I was paying attention, I could feel my old, conditioned patterns and habits of perfect-good-girl dissolving while something new and more bold moved through.
Bold in a good way, an empowered and purposeful way. The kind of bold you feel as a lightness in your being as you step up to a microphone and say what you stand for.
The kind of bold you feel as a smooth steadiness in your voice as those words move from your heart to your tongue.
The kind of bold, beautiful uniqueness you feel when you finally step into the journey you were born for, recognize it in all it’s flying colors, and board the train to living your legacy.
The unapologetic me feels free, confident, inspired and joyful on a regular basis. Not only when things are going right, but all of the time; able to serve as a compass when things don’t feel good.
She became the lighthouse; a bright-ass beacon of you-were-born-for-this with a badass level of awareness as her fuel.
Everything comes down to awareness when it comes to living in the unapologetic you. It’s this aware, feeling state of being that’s the foundation for living your fiercely alive life. Inside of this aware feeling state you get the choice to express yourself, or not. You get the choice to do, say and be the woman you were born to be.
Here are five steps to being the unapologetic, awesome you:
1. Know what feels good and right to your soul.
2. Own your worth and don’t look back.
3. Start leaning in the direction of what feels good and stop settling for less.
4. Maintain those boundaries in everything you say, do and be.
5. Surround yourself with people who practice loving you no matter what.
Any of you who’ve been on this journey for a while know the above five steps can take a lifetime of practice. When you commit to them and wake up each morning with an intention for awareness the momentum builds and the energy is real. So while it is a practice and a journey, it does get better, easier and more inspiring.
Speaking of inspiring…
Over the last couple months I’ve had the privilege and honor of guiding a group of brave healer goddesses who are writing, speaking and sharing their stories with the world in a bigger way. These women walk their talk in order to trailblaze the way for you.
I’m about to share 14 stories on my blog over the next month or so, from warrior goddesses just like you, who’ve come to know their unapologetic selves and aim to inspire you and infuse you with some of their light and fuel.
The women of the Intuitive Writing for Healers workshop are baring their souls and writing about what that unapologetic woman feels like, and the struggles they’ve had getting her to wake up. You’ll enjoy a blog every other day starting April 3rd until May and I hope you’ll visit often.
The unapologetic you is the one we’re waiting for; the one that’s going to heal you and the world.
Ready to start your own unapologetic journey of sharing your message and legacy with the world? The next Intuitive Writing for Healers workshop starts Friday May 3rd. You can read about that HERE.
Laura Di Franco, MPT won’t let you settle for a mediocre life. Your health, wealth and happiness is one Brave Healing book, poem, workshop, strategy session or moment away. With almost three decades of expertise in holistic physical therapy, six published books and a third-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, Laura’s energy and method are contagious and unlike anything you’re experienced. Check out her newest book, Brave Healing, a Guide for Your Journey, her badass programs and free Facebook group for healers. www.BraveHealer.com