Today I was just the mom. Instead of suiting up and participating in today’s taekwondo tournament I attended just to be there for my son Jonathan. I missed the morning’s competitions due to a prior scheduled engagement and arrived at the tournament in the afternoon in time for the opening ceremony and to watch Jonathan spar. Walking into the gym in my plain clothes was a bummer. The moment you see the white uniforms you feel out of place without yours on. It is like you are this warrior taekwondo athlete on the inside and nobody knows it unless you are there dressed to play the game! ”Darn!” I thought to myself, “I should have signed up.” But I had another job to focus on today…
So today I was just being the mom. And uniform or no uniform, sometimes you rather not be the mom. Being the mom is hard sometimes. Nobody tells you that when you are the mom of a taekwondo athlete you will have to watch your baby lose, get hurt, hurt someone else and learn the hard way. They don’t tell you that you will feel every disappointment, every worry, every heartache, and every bruise, like it was your own. Maybe I would have encouraged him to play golf instead had I known. Maybe not. They also don’t tell you that you will get to watch him win or place, see the big smile on his face in victory, break every damn board, and score the winning point. They don’t tell you how great it will feel to be the one he comes running to to show you the trophy and to ask “did you see that mom?!” And you wouldn’t expect it, but even in disappointment, being able to hear your kid recognize that he gave it his best fight and has everything to be proud of, that is the best. You were there to witness it all, and being the mom is good.
So today it was good to be the mom, in plain clothes, to give myself to it fully and enjoy the ride. But next time I will probably be the mom and suit up and play the game too. It is a little more fun that way.
COMMENTS
When we wear many hats (and all parents do), we have conflicts. My most recent — when a business lunch unexpectedly cancelled, I had to decide what to do with that hour: do I have lunch with my spouse, or do take a yoga/stretching class? Guess what? The lunch was lovely.
